pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize