It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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