Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
