dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
