so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize