i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
