we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
