I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
