I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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