Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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