what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
