I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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