So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
