My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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