Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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