Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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