It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize