my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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