do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
