she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
