i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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