Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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