can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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