We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
