chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize