he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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