what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
