some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
