I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
