Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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