He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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