do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He literally asked permission to hit on me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
