Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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