i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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