"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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