I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
