wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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