What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
