Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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