If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize