Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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