in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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