we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize