I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
