Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
