She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
