hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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