i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
