Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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