i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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