are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
