Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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