school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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