I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
