The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
