Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
