I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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