Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
