Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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