That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
