This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think people are normalizing furries
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
