I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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