she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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