I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
