let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize