He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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